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Knowledge Point Articles   

April 2007

Picking the Right New Home

There are many occasions during one’s lifetime when natural developmental stages or passages are experienced, such as childhood, adolescence, adulthood or retirement. Because of changes in roles and responsibilities, individuals find themselves either making or assisting in complex and important decisions about where they, a friend, or a family member should be living. Changes in physical functioning, mental capabilities, life interests, financial situations and social supports affect which type of place is appropriate, and most importantly where a senior individual is ultimately going to be the most content and happiest.

Making a good decision regarding where a senior loved one chooses to live is important and can be difficult. Don’t wait until there is a crisis to gather information. The best decisions are usually made without time pressures. Incorporating the help of friends and relatives not only gives one the opportunity to share the work of a search and move, but it also provides a ready support group to discuss what the move means to each of them.

By systematically considering available choices, you can compare the strengths and weaknesses of various options. It is important to try to be as open and honest as possible about what is absolutely needed or wanted versus things that are open to compromise and negotiation.

Know the Personal Likes and Dislikes
A small, home-like residence that gives individual attention and care may be ideal for one senior individual and may be hated by another. Sometimes the ability to continue with a hobby or have a pet accompany the person guides all the decisions that need to be made. Take genuine stock of what is most important in your senior loved one’s life and make sure this can be maintained, if at all possible.

Know and Visit the Various Choices
Make sure that you look at the options from the point of view of the individual who will be living there. After a scheduled tour and obtaining the general information, make an unscheduled drop-in stop later to see if there are any differences. Pay special attention to the convenience of the location, visiting hours, visiting areas, food, types of care rendered, ancillary services, staffing, daily activities, religious activities and safety/security issues. Don’t be afraid to make as many trips back as necessary to get all of your questions answered.

Quality vs. Cost
It can be difficult to find a comfortable balance between the two. Don’t forget to ask questions and look into state or federal assistance that may help. Find out what the policy of the residence or facility is if savings or funds of an individual were to be exhausted. Even though these questions may be difficult to ask or make you feel embarrassed, they are something that people who work with senior facilities and elderly care are quite comfortable dealing with. Also, they may have some excellent suggestions or alternative programs you may qualify for. Sometimes the level or type of care an individual needs can fluctuate frequently or change, which may also need to be considered along with any other future needs.

Plan the Move
The speed at which the actual change needs to take place can vary. Sometimes a trial stay or keeping two residences for a short period is possible. Obviously, the more crisis-based the situation, the less likely it is that everyone will have the time necessary to adjust. Remember that paid storage space can also be obtained for items when it is too overwhelming to make final decisions on possessions.

Adjustment Period
When anyone is faced with a major change in his or her life, there comes with it a need for new equilibrium. Assisting with change can be both exhausting and rewarding when it is done responsibly. There is an opportunity to use this time to establish a pattern for cooperative understanding among loved ones working toward a mutual goal and to learn more about oneself. The bittersweet nature of warm memories and simpler tomorrows should not be undersold as unimportant to the transitional milestone process. After all, home is truly where the heart is, and it is important for everyone to feel comfortable with how and where they are living. Try to be patient with your emotions and those of the people around you. Give the new arrangements time to become familiar and comfortable.

Making a move can be difficult and even painful, especially later in life. The assistance of an outside party or professional may help with making the decision itself or with the emotional consequences. Many times these life passages bring up both pleasant and painful memories from the past. Don’t be afraid to get the necessary support to have a successful move. And whatever path you choose, make the most of it.

Reprinted with permission by NewLifestyles, Inc.
www­.NewLifeStyles.com

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